The Dude, the Fangirl And the Pretty Boy
by Kaeah
Summary: Story revamped. ;D
1. The Dude, the Fangirl and the Pretty Boy

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, Star Wars or Twilight.**

**(Introducing Draven Dusk. He is a famous musician and heart-throb extraordinaire, who is known in both the Muggle and Wizard world for his catchy lyrics and devilishly, handsome good looks. He has accrued quite a number of fangirls of the Twilight caliber.)**

**The Dude, the Fan girl and the Pretty Boy**

Octavia and Draven were having a drink at the Three Broomsticks.

"Draven," whispered Octavia. "That person over there has been sitting there staring at us all night."

"Nothing new," Draven responded, nonchalantly.

Octavia gestured toward a hooded figure, sitting at a table to the right of them.

Draven slowly looked to his right and the hooded figured waved. Draven turned back to Octavia, his left eyebrow raised.

"That is a bit freaky," Said Draven, an air of trepidation in his voice. "Maybe we should get out of here."

"Yeah, we can go to Hogwarts." Octavia eyed the hooded figure and slipped off her stool.

"Wait...doesn't that scary Minerva person work there?" Asked Draven, with a shudder.

"Yes but you don't have to worry about her." Octavia laughed.

"What makes you say that? The last time I encountered the woman she managed to swipe a pair of my boxer shorts...while I was wearing them. It was all a bit traumatic."

"It'll be fine. I'll protect you." Octavia patted Draven's shoulder reassuringly.

After a brisk walk from Hogmead they reached the large, gates that separated Hogwarts from the road beyond.

Octavia thought she saw a mysterious, hooded figure out of the corner of her eye. She ignored it at first but then she noticed he figure a second time.

"Draven, I think we're being followed." Said Octavia, gripping his arm. She whipped out her wand

and murmured an inaudible incantation and the large gate protested in the form of low creeks as

it swung inward.

They ran as fast as they could up toward the castle. When they got to the great hall doors they heard yelling.

"What are you doing?" "Who is this ninny?" And, "This is NOT a ballet school!" Various voices shouted.

"Sevi!" Octavia shouted at the end of the last sentence heard through the doors. Octavia pushed open the doors to the great hall, and all of a sudden music started playing.

"Hey I know this song!" Said Draven.

"I would hope so." Said Octavia."It's one of yours...I think one of your fangirls has infiltrated the castle."

Then all of a sudden the hooded figure they had seen in the pub appeared, standing on the staff table. The figure relaxed its shoulders and held its arms at an angle allowing the black cloak it was wearing to fall into the staff table; only to reveal a young girl in a black and red tutu who, once the cloak was shed promptly started doing ballet.

She jumped and pirouetted all over the place. Then she tripped over her own feet and fell over. She got up like nothing had happened.

"She's getting closer to us." Whispered Draven.

The girl started flailing her arms dramatically as she neared Draven and Octavia.

"I'm scared! Hide me!" Said Draven, ducking behind Octavia.

The girl reached the frightened pop star and his loyal friend and stopped her strange attempt at dancing.

"What do you want with him?" Asked Octavia, protectively.

The girl spoke. "Like hi! I'm like Brittany and I like sooo think Draven is a hottie!" She said in valley girl speak. She took off her black wig to reveal her long, blonde hair.

"So it was you who followed us," Said Octavia, with an accusatory glare.

"Yes. I like couldn't resist stalking Draven! It's like so fun and he's such a hottie like OMG!" Brittany giggled.

Octavia slapped Brittany across the face.

Brittney's mouth fell open and she put a hand to her face. "What was that for?"

"For like being like annoying." Octavia said, mocking her."And for stalking Draven."

Draven peered out from behind Octavia.

At the sight of Draven, Brittney let out a high pitched squelch that rang through the great hall.

Octavia slapped Brittney again.

"Like ow! Stop like doing that!" Brittney said.

"I'll stop doing it when you stop being annoying." Retorted Octavia.

Brittney just stared at Draven.

"Octavia, she's starting to scare me," Whimpered Draven.

"Draven you are like the hottest guy on like the face of the planet and your hair is like soooo hottilicious, and like your make-up is awesome and I would so like marry you in like a second, and there was this one time I had your picture on my wall and my sister was like he is like so ugly and I was like oh no he's not and I like totally defended you and there was this one time when we were shopping at Hollister and like I saw this shirt that would look so good on you...

An hour later...

so like that's why I think you should marry me." Said Brittany giggling.

Octavia, Draven and many people in the great hall were starring at Brittany with blank expressions on their faces. Brittany's nonsensical drivel had driven everyone into one big, collective stupor.

Octavia snapped out of it. "Okay...Draven isn't in a boyband...he doesn't have a poodle named tinkles and you really need to just stop talking...forever."

"Draven isn't a boyband?" Brittney gasped in surprise. "But like all the girls at my school are like dressing like him and they keep like saying how cool this new boyband is.

Octavia took out her wand and said "Accio Edward Cullen" A few seconds later a copper haired boy wearing a tight t-shirt and neatly ripped jeans appeared in the great hall next to Draven, Octavia and Brittany.

"Erm... hi?" Said the boy, completely confused.

"Brittney, meet Edward Cullen." Octavia announced gesturing to the boy like he was a prize on some cheesy game show.

"Like OMG you are like soooo hott! Like hott with two Ts!" Said Brittney right away.

"So I've heard." Said Edward.

A few seconds a sound, not much different from the sound of a stampede of rhinos, could be heard outside in the hallway. And then a bunch of girls burst through the great hall doors all screaming in excitement.

"Oh man, I have to go." Said Edward, looking at the parade of girls headed his way and promptly ran towards the nearest exit.

"Quick! Go get him before everyone else does." Octavia encouraged Brittney.

"Right, like thanks!" Brittney said chasing Edward out of the great hall.

"You saved me! Exclaimed Draven and he gave Octavia a bear hug.

"All in a days work." She said with a smirk.

"But what about that guy?" Asked Draven.

"Edward? He'll be fine. He's made out of magnesium."

Draven looked confused.

"Let's get something to eat, I'm starving."


	2. When Women With Over-Sized Spectacles

**Chapter 2: When Women With Over-sized Spectacles Attack**

They sat down at the staff table. Almost immediately, Draven heard heavy breathing behind him.

He slowly turned around and saw a woman with huge spectacles and long which magnified her

eyes so that they looked several times their actual size, long frizzy hair with an awkward

expression on her face. Her head was tilted to one side and her lips were drawn back into a tight

smile that unnerved Draven.

"Will you go out with me?" Said the woman, not even two inches away from Draven's face.

"I don't know you." Draven squeaked, rather baffled by this proposal.

"But you could." Said the woman with a scary smirk.

"Um, no thanks. You're beginging to make me feel uncomfortable. A little elbow room please?"

All of a sudden a goblet flew through the air and hit the woman in the head, which knocked her off of her chair.

"Ooops. Was that me?" Octavia said with mock surprise, "That goblet just flew right out of my hand." Then she Whispered to Draven. "I Love throwing things at that woman."

"I'm scared. Lets leave." Draven whispered back.

"Does Trelawny scare you? Don't worry She scares all of us."

They left the staff table and walked into the hallway as they talked.

Octavia and Draven heard someone ask, in a sing-song voice, "Don't you wish your girlfriend was hot like me?"

Draven apprehensively looked over his shoulder and saw none other than Minerva McGonagall. She dressed in an outfit so skanky it rivaled the clothes worn by the Pussy Cat Dolls. He turned back to Octavia and he screamed like a little girl. There, instead of Octavia, standing next to him was a creepy looking lady in Octavia's outfit and a wig.

"You're not Octavia. Who are you? And why did you steal Octavia's clothes?" Draven belted out.

Draven turned around and saw a pair of legs sticking out of a closet.

Snape walked up to the closet and looked inside.

"Octavia what are you doing in that closet? What have I told you about passing out in random closets?"

Snape slipped a small vial out of his pocket, raised Octavia's chin with one hand and poured some of the liquid into her mouth. Octavia woke up instantaneously and said, "What happened? Where are my clothes?"

"Yeah where are your clothes?" Asked Snape, suspiciously.

"Wait, its all coming back to me now..." She turned and saw Hooch in her clothes, "Her!" She said pointing at Hooch. "Draven! I'll save you." Octavia ran over and tackled Hooch.

Snape walked up to Draven and stood next to him as they watched Octavia beat the crap out of Hooch.

"Who is that?" Asked Draven.

"That's Hooch. The name says it all." Said Snape.

Octavia rose from the floor and dusted herself off.

"Draven, I need a nap. Beating up Hooch always drains me of all my energy." Said Octavia.

"Would you two care to escourtment to my chamber?"

...

Snape, Octavia and Draven walked up to Octavia's room. Draven walked in first and sat down on the luxuriously, plush couch. Music started playing a moment after he sat down.

The music resembled a tune he was familiar with, "Check on It" by Beyonce. The next thing Draven noticed was Draco Malfoy, who had jumped out of Octavia's wardrobe wearing some of Octavia's more intimate apparel. Draco began to sing along with the song.

Draven covered his face with his left hand and sighed exasperatedly. "These people."

"Oh boy you lookin' like you like what you see. So wont you come over-" In mid butt-shake Octavia and Snape walk in.

"I've got to go." Said Draco, slightly embarrassed.

"What was that about?" Asked Octavia, bewildered.

"I don't even know..."

Later that night.

A mysterious man, with over-sized spectacles slipped through the large, oak front doors of the castle and begin seatching for something, or someone.


End file.
